Live Up To
by Shari Maxwell
Summary: Chapter 1 is Roy's point of view, Chapter 2 is Ed's point of view, Chapter 3 is both points of view
1. Chapter 1

If everyday could've been just like this... I think I would've died from the sheer bliss of being able to have my one desire, Edward Elric. He was small for his age and _very_ spunky, but to me it just made him all the more desirable. Not to mention those eyes, they're were a golden that almost seemed to enchant you.

I loved the feeling of being able to hold him in my arms and put my mind at ease as I made my wildest fantasy come true. Edward's squirming body beneath me and his screams were so... arousing. I couldn't get enough of them actually, and I feel a bit embarrassed because of it. It still didn't stop me from continuing what I did to him; I could even feel the cruel things I was doing to him, but that didn't make me stop either.

I loved it, and I love the fact that he won't fight back. All because he's so selfless in the journey to help his younger brother. I couldn't recall one time that Edward had puposefully put Alphonse in danger for his own selfish reasons.

Now, I had him in the palm of my hand. He was my most obediant dog in the _entire_ military, and he didn't even have a choice.

I loved the feeling of being in power; being able to manipulate _anybody_ you wanted. It was even better with Edward though.

He loathed me so much for getting to have my way with him, but I don't care what _he_ thinks or wants. I'm a monster now, I had become one ever since I killed that first child in the Ishbal Massacre. I wouldn't feel the remorse now that I had locked away for so long. Not for such a useless kid.

Too bad I couldn't live up to what I said.

To be continued...


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Live Up To (Part 2 of 3)

Author: animethief92

Pairing: Edward Elric x Roy Mustang

Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist

Theme:

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: I don't own, so please don't sue. Good for me, but better for you.

Notes: You b must /b be a yaoi fan to like this. (Ed's POV)

I may have paved my own little path of sin by trying the forbidden alchemy and going into forbidden territory, but it wasn't just me now who was paving the pathway. It was Roy now too.

We were traveling the same road together now, but it's even worse i with /i him sharing the burden too. I felt like it was my fault that he was going to end up in hell with me, but I also knew it was his fault. He had brought this upon himself with that obsession of me being naked.

Maybe I'm wrong about Roy, and maybe he i is /i in love with me like he always says. I don't know whether to trust him or not.

I know he likes to be dominant and have more power over people, but I refuse to be the submissive weakling who lets him walk all over me. At least, I i thought /i I was. It doesn't seem like it anymore; I'm an obedient i dog /i , and I'm living up to what the people call me. A dog of the military, except I'm more like Roy Mustang's dog now.

One time I finally decided to stop him from touching me; even though he seems to think that we made a deal of I get the information I want and he gets i whatever /i he wants. I couldn't stand the thought of him and his hands touching me where only a true lover should touch, so I punched him in the face. He quickly put an end to my retaliating by burning me on my lower back.

I've never tried to refuse his treatment again because he began threatening me by saying he'd tell Alphonse. Of all people, I didn't want my own little brother to know the sinful things I've done for me, and for him.


	3. Chapter 3

I couldn't believe that he had just tried to cover up everything that had been going on for the past few months with just a simple apology. One little apology couldn't make up for everything he had put me through just so I could help my little brother. Not to mention the stress it put on me not to be allowed to tell someone.

At one time I had actually thought of suicide, but when I thought of Al; I couldn't go through.

Now Roy was trying to cover the whole thing up with an apology and a confession of love to me._Love_? You didn't seem to love me all those times you hit me and basically _raped_ me for your own pleasure.

I admit that I had some feelings for the Colonel over the past few years, but after the first time he raped me... I couldn't keep those feelings. For about three years I had believed that once I was old enough for him to consider me mature, we would have a relationship.

I decided to be stubborn and never forgive him for what he did to me. It was over and there was no chance of us _ever _being together.

So I left his office to go find Al after I had listened to his pathetic whining of how cruel it was for him to do those things to me. I closed the door to the office, and at the same time closed the door to my heart; making sure to shut out Roy Mustang.

When he left me; I could feel the hatred linger in the room. He hated every part of me, and it was my fault because I let my sexual desires get in the way of my heart.

I had used the excuse that I was a monster and would always remain one, but it wasn't true. I just refused to acknowledge the fact that I had actual feelings for a boy who wasn't even considered an adult yet.

I had blown my only chance to get into a life long relationship with him, and he had even kicked _me_ to the curb. That was just how embarrassing it was. I knew I wouldn't want to face him for a while, but I knew I would _have_ to. It was my job to be his commander and give him all his assignments, so we often had to meet face to face.

I guess this was the end of everything between me and Ed; except for our commander and soldier relationship. Then again, maybe if I was just as stubborn as he was; maybe I could convince him one day to come back to me.

And maybe it would be different. Until then, I'll probably stay single adn wait for him to finally accept the apology I offered. Then again, I could always get together with someone else who I had been interested in for a while. Hughes or maybe Hawkeye, who knows?

Although, neither of our wounds will ever heal.


End file.
